The Chime of Blessing Bells, Lyndon, Lyndon
by Raven Rein
Summary: Oda Sakunosuke is not yet a member of the Armed Detective Agency, but he's been practically hired by the whole office as the resident Dazai Osamu expert. Also known as the fuffy pile that turns into a monster fic.


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The Chime of Blessing Bells, Lyndon, Lyndon

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Interlude I

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Odasaku is frowning as he stood in front of the crab meat section of the supermaket, trying to decide which brand to buy. Just as he was about to shuffle a bit to the left to peer into the crab meat on that side, his phone rang with Kunikida's ringtone.

Without taking his eyes off of the rack, he swiped a thumb across the screen and placed it on his ear.

"Oda here."

"It's Kunikida." The man answered with an audibly tired voice.

"Are you alright?"

"Not really, no. Migraine."

Odasaku hummed "Dazai?" he guessed.

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"We have a mountain of paperwork to be done but the lazy bastard is not budging to help at all." A sigh "At this rate none of us will be back before it's late."

"No going back home before work is done?"

"That's right. I just wanted to give you a heads up since you said you're going to make his favourite food tonight. You might want to postpone."

"I see." Odasaku frowned as he placed a can of crabmeat back to the shelf. "That's too bad. But thank you for telling me."

"It's no problem. I'll hang up now."

"Okay."

Odasaku pocketed his phone with a disappointed exhale. There goes his plan to cheer Dazai up. If anything he might come back home even crankier than he was when he dropped him off at the Agency this morning.

As he walks to the vegetable section, he dialled Dazai's number.

"Dazai here…" came the dispirited voice after a few rings.

"Dazai?"

"Oh! It's Odasaku!" the change in tone was enough to give a lesser man whiplash. But Oda takes it all in a stride. Literally, he listens while taking a long stride to the right to check on the carrots. "What's the occasion~? Why are you calling me?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to confirm something."

"And that is…."

"Do you want to eat dinner home or are you going out with your colleagues after work? You're going to be home late, right?"

A long, despairing groan vibrates through the phone "Must you remind me of such cruel fate, dear friend of mine?"

"I shouldn't have said anything? I'm sorry."

"It's not like that." Dazai whines "Just… where are you right now?"

"Hmm… The supermarket. I'm shopping for groceries." Odasaku knows a distraction when he heard one, but he intentionally falls into it anyway.

"Oh? What are you making then?"

"Actually I was going to make some crabmeat inarizushi." Odasaku frowns down sadly in front of the cabbage section "But since you're going to be home late, maybe I'll make something easy to heat up."

"…Crabmeat inarizushi?"

"Yeah."

"With sweet tamagoyaki and sour cream on the side?"

"I have all the ingredients, so yeah."

"And hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate with mint stick and cinnamon sprinkles."

"….."

"….."

"….."

"….."

"…..Dazai?"

"…Make the inarizushi, the tamagoyaki and the hot chocolate, Odasaku."

"Huh?" he said out loud in confusion. Dazai's voice has taken that dangerous edge it gains whenever the owner is really serious about something. "But they won't taste good heated up."

"We're not going to heat them up. I'll be home at the usual time."

Odasaku blinked, confused. But if Dazai said so then… "Alright."

"See you this _evening_ , Odasaku." Then the younger man abruptly hangs up.

The ex-assassin stares at his phone for a moment before pocketing it and turns back to re-check that crabmeat aisle.

Later, when he's in front of the cashier with a basket full of various crabmeat cans (so Dazai can test-taste all of them and pick what he likes best), vegetables and mochi for the inarizushi and a packet of extra sugar, his phone dings with a message.

Odasaku pulls it out as the cashier is checking out all his groceries. It's from Kunikida.

" _Dazai is working. He's actually_ _ **sitting down and working**_. _How did you do that?"_

He stare at the message, wonders if the other's caps lock button is broken since it's all in capitals, and sends back a simple _"Maybe he's in the mood?"_ before turning the screen off and begins the walk home.

Maybe he'll prepare some cookies too, so Dazai can eat it tomorrow in the office if he's peckish before lunchtime. Hmmm… then he'll have to make a lot so he can share with his workmates.

With that in mind, Odasaku goes home while thinking about flour and sugar ratio in a perfect sugar cookie.

Later that evening, Dazai came back half an hour earlier and eats all the crabmeats that don't manage to pass taste-test to become a part of the inarizushi.

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 _Part One:_

 _Kiseki_

 _(Miracle)_

 _-Amazarashi_

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On the first floor of the building that serves as The Armed Detective Agency's headquarter, an ex-mafia in tan jacket is trying to decide what to get for today's breakfast before he goes home to the Agency-issued apartment.

It was surprising how the twists of life happen. If four years ago you told him that he will someday live with Port Mafia's Demon Prodigy slash Next-to-be-Boss Executive who defected for his sake and is now working for a detective agency, Odasaku would have asked what book do you write because he would be interested in a mind that can come up with such a far-fetched plot.

Currently, it's nine in the morning, a good one hour after he dropped Dazai off at this very place before he went to the bookstore to search for Natsume Souseki's new novels that he missed while he was unconscious. Now that he has them and an addition other various other books with promising premises, Odasaku is planning to grab some quality coffee and relax at the apartment he now shares with the younger man.

Or that was the plan, at least.

Odasaku stares at the absurdly long list of coffees in the menu, uncomprehending. If he recall correctly, Dazai recommended mochaccino to him, or was it cappuccino? And what exactly is macchiato and how is it different from doppio? What alien planet did the word coretto came from? Why are there so many types of coffee and what exactly is frappe?

He was distracted for a second by a message from Tanizaki, asking if he's by the Agency. After sending the confirmation that he is, he turns back to the menu.

The waitress behind the counter is still smiling patiently after he spent a long moment trying to solve the mystery of the coffee menu, waiting for Odasaku to give up and order black coffee and waffles like he usually does.

He was going to do just that when the café's side door banged open to show a harried Tanizaki with torn shirt and missing the red jacket usually tied around his middle.

"Oda-san!" he called out in an unusually high voice. "We need your help! It's an emergency!"

Odasaku frowned in confusion and placed the menu back to the counter, muttering a soft apology for ending up not buying anything. The saint of a waitress nodded in understanding and tells him to come back again as he approach the quivering Agency member.

He's technically not a member of the Agency despite being a frequent visitor every morning to drop Dazai off and every evening to pick him up. But since he showed his face very often, the actual members seem to regard him as one of them and sometimes he even got roped into helping out with cases as well.

However, the Agency has been very kind to him ever since he woke up from his four-year long coma two months ago. They cleared his hospital bills and gave him a place to stay despite him being unable to repay them.

He suspects that Dazai is behind most of the Agency's kindness toward him, but even so it still stands that Odasaku is indebted to the organisation. If a situation arise in which they need his help, he will lend them his strength them no matter what.

This morning is no different as he elongated his strides to match Tanizaki's half-running pace toward the elevator. Seeing from how he fidgets restlessly in the elevator the problem must be very serious.

Odasaku made a motion of shrugging to assure himself that his guns, unused as they were, are still readily strapped to his shoulders in prime condition. If a situation can make a usually calm boy like Tanizaki this ruffled then he might have a need for them.

The elevator dings and opens to the corridor of the fourth floor where the Agency's office is located. Odasaku steeled himself to face whatever horror lies beyond the door of the Agency on the short walk between the elevator to the doorstep.

From beyond the door, he can hear loud crashes and hyena laughter, followed closely by horror-filled cries of the Agency's junior member. One hand slipping into his coat to grab a gun, Odasaku used the other one to push the door open and saw—

-Dazai.

Literally, it's Dazai. Specifically, it's a faceful of Dazai.

Odasaku blinked, hand falling away from the handle of his gun.

The man he'd dare to call his best friend has somehow installed a metal bar on the ceiling and is hanging upside down from it while giggling. His face is on the same level with the slightly-crouching Odasaku's as he rocks back and forth like a hellish wonderland version of a swing set.

"It's Odasaku! O-da-sa-ku-!" Dazai slammed his face into Odasaku's collarbone and he can hear the painful crunch of his nose just before a pair of bandaged arms wrapped themselves around his neck in a very awkward angle. "An angel! I'm hugging an angel~!"

Odasaku's face is now pressed against Dazai's chest. He cranes his head to the side to inspect the damage done to the room and its inhabitant. Unsurprisingly, it's rather extensive.

Files, papers, books and stuffs Odasaku couldn't begin to identify from how mutilated they are scattered around the floor. The desks are askew and every staffs are cowering in the corner.

Atsushi, who was screaming just before Odasaku came into the room, is hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by a length of bandage that miraculously refuses to snap. From the blank whiteness of his eyes, it's likely that he's unconscious as the languid movement of the fan moved him in a swaying circle around the room.

Sitting on the far table, Ranpo is munching on a bowl of popcorn with an amused expression, while on the chair beside him Kunikida is entrapped by what seems like Dazai's very own tan coat. He's struggling against it but every movement seems to restrict him even further while his howls of fury are muffled by what seems like Atsushi's tie shoved into his mouth.

Yosano-sensei is sitting quite regally on top of a filling cabinet. But one look at her rapidly darkening eyes and skirt tells a tragic story of a fabric meeting super glue.

The shuffling of Tanizaki behind him tells Odasaku that this poor boy might be the only one who was able to escape this madness to fetch him…. But that does not mean that he escaped unscathed, Odasaku notes while eying the burnt remain of what seems like what's left of his red jacket.

It's a good thing that the President and Kenji-kun are absent today. One because of a sudden call from a mother about an ailing cow from the mystic faraway village and the other one only god know where, why, what and how. He does not want to imagine what would have happened if either of them were present.

"Dazai…" Odasaku started, trying to decide what to ask first "What are you doing." He decides to start from the most obvious.

"Hugging you, of course!" the answer came slightly muffled from where Dazai is still pressing against his collarbone.

"I see." Odasaku nods, making his chin brush against Dazai's. "And why are you upside down?"

"I heard that if we optimize the blood flow to the head, then we can have better brain function!"

"Oh." A pause. Then, "Is it working?"

Dazai's face appeared as he distanced himself. It's pinched in an exaggerated expression of thinking that Odasaku recognize as the one Dazai wears when he's not really in a sane state of mind.

"Now that you mention it, I don't think so? Ow, ow… my head's hurt now." He whines and clutched at the hair above his temple. Odasaku's quick reflex was the only thing that saved him from a concussion against linoleum floor when his legs unfolded and slid down the cylindrical metal bar.

The moment he was back upright, Dazai sprang away from Odasaku with loud laughter and runs deeper into the office. Far too used to the other's antic when he's either drunk or high, Odasaku ignored him to approach the table where a white powdery substance is sitting atop a white sheet of oil paper.

Inspecting the substance tells him that, without doubt, it is a type of narcotics.

"Did he ingest this?" He asked Tanizaki who is hiding in his shadows, cowering away from anywhere he might be visible for Dazai's eyes.

"Huh? Oh, yes. There's an incredibly potent drug circulating the market recently. It was confirmed that it was because of an Ability that tripled the effect of the drugs. We had it brought in for inspection, and then Dazai-san exclaimed that it must be a very weak drug because it needed an Ability to be remotely useful and ingested some after he used No Longer Human on them."

"And, apparently, he was wrong." Odasaku mused as he watches Dazai harassing the staffs who are nearly in tears. While his attention was diverted to the poor ladies, Kyouka has appeared from her hiding place somewhere, succeeded in cutting Atsushi down, and is now dragging him to a more comfortable position on the floor

All the while, Ranpo is still munching away without even budging an inch to help out the still-howling Kunikida.

"What's the drug's effect?"

"I think it's… euphoria and hallucination?"

"The usual, then."

"Oda-san, can't you do something?" Tanizaki asked desperately.

"I will try." Odasaku answered with a firm, serious tone.

Bravely, he steps forward and left Tanizaki cowering beneath the desk to stand on the centre of the room, the only place clear from debris or unconscious human beings, and raised one hand, palm upward, in an inviting gesture.

"Dazai." Odasaku's expression is one of deadly serious resolution as Dazai turns his attention to him and blinked at the hand offered "Let's fly."

Silence fills the room.

Kunikida stop howling to eye him in flabbergasted confusion, Ranpo stop chewing to watch the event he hadn't predicted unfold, the staffs holding back any sound so to not attract Dazai's attention back to them. Even Yosano's colder and colder gaze warms up in interest.

Dazai's loud clap and brightening smile broke the stillness. He laughs loudly and skips to where Odasaku is. "I get to fly with an angel?"

"Sure."

"Really? That's so nice of you!"

Dazai practically falls against his chest in a giggling heap. His hand reached behind Odasaku's back to try and grab something only his hallucination-addled mind can register.

"Stop that." The older man gripped the wrist of that grappling hand gently "If you hurt my wings, we can't fly."

"Oh, that's right." The detective deflated. "But you have such beautiful wings, Odasaku. It fits you, you know?"

"Do I have a halo too?"

"Of course! It's bright and white and big and golden and—and—" he laughs, burrowing into Odasaku's chest. "Odasaku is my angel, my angel, yess~?"

"If you want me to."

"I want you to!" Dazai beamed at him before swaying from the sudden motion. "Now, fly! Fly Odasaku, I want to fly with Odasaku~" he sing-songed and wrapped deceptively slender arms around the older man's shoulders, careful to hug a bit higher to avoid squishing where he believes the wings sprout out.

"Alright, up we go." Odasaku bent down a little to put his arm around Dazai's knees and stood up with the younger man securely in a bridal carry.

Said younger man squealed in delight and buried his face into Odasaku's neck, laughing. "I'm flying!"

"Yes you are." Odasaku answered indulgently as he walks to Kunikida's desk. Dazai's legs are kicking in excitement as the owner grinned brightly and looks around as if enjoying the view.

"Look, Odasaku. I can touch the clouds!" Dazai dangles one of his hands down and seems to be eagerly trying to scoop up something invisible.

"Is it pretty?" the older man asked as he sat down on top of Kunikida's desk and placed the detective on his laps, securing him in a sitting position with one arm as the other rummaged through Kunikida's drawer. He heard a muffled sound of protest and shot an apologetic look to the still-tied up senior detective.

"It is." Dazai sighed dreamily and went lax in his hold. "Everything's pretty when I'm with you."

Odasaku's hand that is rummaging through Kunikida's belonging stills. A smile bloomed on his face as he saw the loopy smile the man in his laps is sending him.

"If that's the case, then I'm glad."

The red-haired man finally pulled out a small vial of message oil from the detective's drawer. He felt a pang of pity to the poor man who was exposed to so many doses of Dazai in a daily basis he needed to have message oil close to hand to avoid getting crippled by insane-colleague induced migraine.

He drops a small amount to his fingers while his other hand left Dazai's waist to press his face into Odasaku's shoulder.

"Tell me about my wings, Dazai."

"Why?"

"Because I can't see them myself."

"What? But that's such a pity! They're beautiful!"

"That's why I want you to tell me about them."

Odasaku lifts his oil-covered finger to the back of Dazai's neck just as the younger man tilt his head down presumably to peer into Odasaku's wings.

"They're white with these gold and brown freckles in them." Dazai begins describing. "They're huge, too. Like, bigger-than-you huge."

"Really?" Odasaku hums as his hand worked on Dazai's neck. He kneads into the muscles on the sides, running his fingers in deep massage until he reach the bottom of his hairline then went down and wriggles until they can dig into where his neck met shoulders then back up again. He keeps his ministration slow and gentle, not putting much pressure but just enough for them to be both pleasurable and comforting, all the while being mindful not to destroy the bandages wrapped around the slender neck. All the while, his other hand is rubbing Dazai's back in a soothing manner.

"Yes, and they're kind of glowing? If you fly around at night you'll probably look like a star, then I can whisper you my wish. The bottom is so full of these small fluffy feathers but then they got bigger and bigger." Dazai blink "And the longest feather is really, really long."

"I'll try to spread them." Odasaku is encouraged when he feels Dazai getting laxer and laxer in his hold. "You want to describe them to me when I do that?"

"Hm? Yes, sure." A note of drowsiness seeps into Dazai's voice. A moment passed and he stirred when Odasaku's 'wings' are spread. "It's so long now…. Your wing looks like a very fluffy bed; I want to sleep on them."

"That's alright, if you want to."

A bandaged hand rose slowly to pat and caress the empty air behind Odasaku. Warmth trickles in his chest when he realizes that Dazai is trying to stroke his wings with delicate caress.

"Odasaku is…. so kind." He nuzzled deeper into the older man's shoulder, baring the back of his neck more. Said man heard that small pause in between words and takes note of it. "I'm so… so glad you're here… with me again."

The bandaged hand falls to the desk with a dull thud.

When he heard it, Odasaku blinked and peered into Dazai's face. It is now slack and utterly peaceful, captured in the blissful land of sleep.

Careful not to jostle him too much, Odasaku carried the precious bundle in his arms toward the break room and laid down the sleeping man to one of the black couch. Putting off his own jacket, he lays it on Dazai, shielding him from the cold as best as he can.

Said man seems to respond positively even in his sleep. He snuggled closer into the jacket and turned to his side, quickly settling back down with a portion of the tan jacket in his grasp, pressing against his face.

When he returned to the office room, Kunikida has been freed and Atsushi has awoken from whatever unconsciousness Dazai dealt him with. Tanizaki is working to entangle Yosano from her glue perch but stops when he re-enter the room. The room's entire inhabitant is now staring at him with newfound respect and gratefulness shining in their eyes.

But Oda, being Oda, is oblivious of that.

"Let him sleep off the rest of the drug. He will wake up thirsty but normal and alright."

"Has this ever happened before, Oda-san?" Tanizaki asks from where he is, one of Yosano's heeled feet planted firmly against his shoulder.

"Ah, yes. I was the one who people usually calls when he got drunk or high… I don't know why, though."

Everyone in the room stare at him, because how can he be so blind to the effect he had on a destructive Dazai?

But Oda, being Oda, is once again, as always, remains oblivious of that.

A round of congratulatory and being eyed by Kunikida like with a gaze that reminded him of Dazai in his mafia days later, Odasaku is going down to the café with a brochure in hand that explain the delicate difference between coffee types and a whole week's worth of free-drink voucher.

In the end, though, he settled to buying a black coffee and a cold decaf cappuccino with extra milk and sugar that he kept in the refrigerator for Dazai when he returns home with drug-induced migraine and whining in bad mood in the evening. The overly sweetened cold coffee should do wonders to his mood.

He knows Dazai enough to at least be able to predict that.

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 _If the fact that I'm loved in and of itself is a miracle_

 _Then then the fact I'm capable of loving is also a miracle, an undeniable miracle_

 _I'm content with knowing that I was happy_

 _I have no regrets,_

 _That's a miracle, an undeniable miracle_

 _._

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Interlude II

"Have you found him?"

"Not yet."

"Where is that lazy bastard now?! Check every nook and cranny!"

"But we already did!"

"Check again! He's not escaping!"

Odasaku stand in front of the Agency's door, one hand frozen in the middle of trying to knock.

The agency members sounds to be busy… he'd interrupt them if he get in now.

Just as he make a decision to give up and return later, the door swing open to herald Atsushi, trembling in fear with tears unshed in his eyes. Said eyes widens when they see him standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Oda-san!"

"Good afternoon, Nakajima-kun." Odasaku politely greets him.

"Oh, good afternoon to you too. Is something the matter?"

"I just need to talk to Dazai for a second. Can I come in?"

"Of course!" Atsushi steps to the side and let the older man in. The moment he comes into the office, Odasaku turns his head to the right and slowly let his eyes roam to the left as if cataloguing everything in the room.

When he saw everything needed to be seen, he approaches the filling cabinet and kneels in front of the leftmost bottom drawer. Without hesitation he knocks on it.

"Dazai." He calls out "I'm going to go to the cinema to buy tickets. Do you want to watch the movie in 2D or 3D?"

Everyone stared at Odasaku silently, holding their breath.

That is, until an answer came from the beyond

"3D please!"

All eyes moved to stare at the closed drawer.

Atsushi's eyes bulges. That drawer is supposed to be full of unused files and trinkets, that's why it went unchecked. For his mentor to squeeze into that space…. And for Oda to find him in less than a minute without having any sort of explanation about the situation…

"Okay, then." Odasaku nodded "…try not to sit in cramped places for too long, it's bad for your blood circulation." With that, he stood up and left the younger man in the drawer.

As perfectly polite as he ever is, Odasaku left with proper greeting to everyone in the room. The moment he goes out door, Kunikida storms the drawer to drag out his grinning partner.

All the while Atsushi is still marvelling at how Dazai's best friend can find him in less than a minute when the Agency of _Detectives_ was stumped for a good half an hour.

 _The two of them must be very close_ Atsushi thought and smiles to himself.

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 _Part Two:_

 _You Turns All into Light_

 _(Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku)_

 _-Kalafina_

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A miracle is happening in the Armed Detective Agency.

It's a miracle so miraculously miraculous that everyone who witnessed it immediately crowded Kunikida's desk and waited for the only person in the agency who has Odasaku's number other than Dazai to call the only one who can explain and/or diffuse the situation.

Because a miracle of this calibre is not joyous as it is scary. Even Kunikida, who's supposed to be the happiest one with this development, finally ends up dialling Odasaku's number in record speed as if the fate of the world relies on that one act.

Meanwhile, Odasaku is in the Agency issued apartment, cooking. He decided this afternoon to make something for Dazai since his friend has been acting a bit strange and moved with a hurried cadence lately. Food is usually the thing to go to when he's stressed like that.

He had decided on some mushroom and crabmeat cream soup, bread and grilled fish. They're fulfilling and Dazai will need every bit of nutrient he can get if work is being as busy as Odasaku predicts they are.

While he's keeping an eye on the simmering soup, the television is on showing the evening news. Odasaku has just begun to tune into the news about some string of small bombings with no victims when his phone rings with Kunikida-specified ringtone.

He picked it up while eying the clock on the wall. It's currently seven in the evening, which means the Agency should have been closed around one hour ago. Did something came up and they need his help?

"Oda here."

"Oda-san, it's Kunikida Doppo." Odasaku frowns when he heard the note of tenseness in that greeting.

"Is something the matter?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Is Dazai there with you?"

Odasaku glance at the closed front door, eyes quickly flicking to the open door of his room, Dazai's messy room, the unlighted space beneath bathroom's door. Other than the hissing of stove and the white noise of evening news, the apartment is silent.

"No, he's not home yet."

Surprise washes over him in cold waves when Kunikida curses something brutal down the telephone line.

"What happened with Dazai?"

"Can you come over to the Agency? I'll explain when you get here."

"Sure." Odasaku turns off the stove and places a lid on the soup to keep it from cooling. "I will be there in half an hour."

"Good. Make sure that you do." Kunikida hung up without preamble.

Odasaku doesn't mind Kunikida's succinct and time-effective personality, if anything he admired the man who bears such dedication to his ideals. The bespectacled man might come off as a bit rude to some people who are too used to having small chit-chats before and after getting to the meat of the conversation, but he knew that he's actually a very kind person.

The red-haired man grabbed his keys, jacket and holsters his guns just in case before going out of the apartment. The Agency is around twenty-five minutes away on foot, the extra five minutes he requested works as a pre-emptive method in case some sort of attack were to come to him, Odasaku will still be there on time.

On his walk, he kept an eye open to his surrounding, looking out for any suspicious individual or group that might be the reason for Kunikida's distress. Predictably, he finds many. Some are drug dealer, mugger, pickpockets with their prize. But none of them are enough to warrant the Agency's attention, so he ignored any of those small offenders.

Fear clutches his heart mercilessly as his pace keeps increasing with every step. He knows first-hand how reckless Dazai can be when he needs to. If this one of those instances when he takes a gamble of no clear victory, then Odasaku is justified in his fear.

After all, a situation where Dazai couldn't find a way to win without moving recklessly is a highly dangerous one.

When he finally stands on front of the Agency's building, he's seven minutes early and unscathed on his journey. That means whatever's wrong must be a high-level case unknown by public masses or the Agency's own internal affair. Whichever it is, it will be difficult to help out without knowing the details.

"You're Oda Sakunosuke." A voice calls out from beside him. Odasaku turns his head to the side just in time for the President of Armed Detective Agency to stop walking and stands beside him.

"Fukuzawa-san." He politely greets him.

"Did Kunikida-kun called you here?"

"Yes, he did." Odasaku brows furrow "Do you know what exactly the matter is?" _What's wrong with Dazai_ is what he wanted to ask, but he kept himself in check.

"I have my inclination." The older man nods "Come with me. I have something I need to speak to you about." Having said that, he walks into the building. Furrowing his brow in confusion, Odasaku follows.

Meanwhile inside of the Agency's office, chaos is breaking out. Naomi and Tanizaki are furiously typing away, searching for clues, hints, anything that can help the search. Kunikida is firing orders at the rushing staffs with a phone constantly pressed against the side of his face while Kyouka, Atsushi and Kenji all sat on the couch with distress etched on their faces, waiting for the order to move out.

Everything nearly stops when the door opens and the president walks in with Odasaku behind him. The red-haired man is wearing a vaguely distracted expression.

"President!" Kunikida immediately snaps into attention, back straight and eyes wary. It's clear from his posture how tense he is. The three youngest of the Agency also stood up from the couch. Atsushi's eyes widen when he sees Odasaku.

"Oda-san!" Atsushi calls out with a voice full of fear and hope. The older man's eyes move to him and it seems to break the spell of emptiness borne from disbelief that has fallen over his eyes. He nods to the boy, making some of the tension in his narrow shoulder melt.

"How is the situation?" Fukuzawa's authoritive voice breaks the ice that fallen over the Agency with his arrival. Immediately, the clickings of keyboards and shuffle of hurried feet against the floor resumes.

As the man walks into the office deeper, Odasaku turns to the children in the break room. They eye him warily as he approaches tem.

"What is happening here?" He asks. Atsushi furrows his brows.

"You don't know?"

"No."

"But—" Atsushi's eyes flicker to the back of the president who is staring at Kunikida's computer screen. He frowns and his eyes bores into Odasaku's eyes "Dazai-san is missing."

"Why? What happened?"

"He's been working very hard these last couple of days. Everyone was happy the first day, but today he was here the first and was working even before the office opened." Atsushi shakes his head "And just this evening after worktime is over, he bolts out without taking anyone with him. We thought he went back home, but-"

 _But he's not home with me._

Cold washes over Odasaku for the second time that night.

"There's no trace of him?"

"Well, the last place his GPS was active was around Yokohama's slums where Port Mafia's exclusive territory began." Atsushi bites his lips and hunch his shoulders. "He might be in danger, especially with what he's been working on…"

"What…. Was he working on?"

"The Black Hounds." Kunikida appears, handing a file of paper to Odasaku. "A group of mercenaries from Russia that slipped into this city early this month. They're the ones responsible for the string of bombings in Yokohama."

Odasaku accepts the file and leafs through it.

 _Highly dangerous… string of bombings… no witnesses or victims… a powerful Ability User as acting leader_. Odasaku's insides begin to freeze over as he imagine Dazai, who is as clever as any demons and capable of charming like the highest order of angels, but is still a human with mortal flesh and ill-equipped martial arts skills.

"We'll be moving out!" The thunder of Kunikida's voice snaps him from his concentration. The younger man is walking to the break room where rest of the Agency is waiting orders "Tanizaki, Ranpo-san and Yosano-sensei will stay here as back up, while we will be split into two groups to investigate the scenes." His eyes flick to Odasaku and he frowns "I called you here before knowing how dire the situation has become. I'm sorry, but you would have to wait here."

"I'm coming." Odasaku exclaimed with steel imbued in his voice. Kunikida's brow creased.

"I understand how you feels, Oda-san. But we can't let a civilian into such a dangerous case. Please wait here and—"

"Let him come." Fukuzawa's voice carries over the noises of the office, making Kunikida swallow his unsaid words before staring at the president with wide eyes.

"But, president, we can't let him do that! He's—"

"Kunikida-kun." The president gazed at him with his calm eyes "Let him come."

After a beat of silence, Kunikida slumps his shoulder in submission and nods.

"Alright, then. Oda-san, you and Atsushi can check on a warehouse by the pier that we pinpointed as Black Hound's hideout. Kenji and Kyouka, the two of you are coming with me to check the last place Dazai's GPS was active."

They nod nearly in unison, immediately moving out to carry out their duties. Kenji and Kyouka follows Kunikida to the garage while Odasaku follows Atsushi outside.

When they got out of the door, Odasaku is prepared to run all the way to the docks, but Atsushi stops him.

"We need to get there as fast as possible." He says with the glint of cutting sharpness in his usually gentle heterochromatic eyes.

Light overtaken the darkness of the falling night as Atsushi transformed fully into a large white tiger. Odasaku silently watches, transfixed, as a large tiger steps from where Atsushi was standing. His tail flicks as he stare at Odasaku.

Odasaku blinks before hardening his resolve and nods, climbing to the tiger's back.

When the older man is safely straddling him, Atsushi jumps to the rooftops with feline grace. The rumble beneath Odasaku's fingertips is as warm as the coarse fur. Just for a moment, as the beast jumps weightlessly from rooftops to rooftops, Odasaku lets himself marvel on the beauty of this dangerous yet utterly graceful tiger beneath his palms.

But as they draws ever closer to their destination, the creeping cold of the fear clutches his chest again. On the faraway distance, the ocean line forms and it became an all-encompassing ancient creature as Atsushi lands silently on the pier.

The boy transforms back into human, the frown of concentration and worry making his face seems years older.

"There," Atsushi points to one of the four warehouses blocking the moonlight and seems like nothing more than looming shadows in the night. "the Black Hounds' hideout is supposed to be that one."

Odasaku nods and draw one of his guns from the shoulder holsters, immediately clicking off the safety. Just as he's about to jump out of the shadows they are hiding in, he noticed the lines engraved on Atsushi's face.

Atsushi was surprised when suddenly a large hand falls atop his head, messing his beige hair in strong, comforting gesture.

"Nakajima-kun, Dazai's going to be alright." Odasaku infused as much confidence as he can into his voice. Just by that, Atsushi's trusting eyes find his, silently asking how he knows that "Because he's Dazai." He answers the unasked question.

When he hears that, the boy's shoulders freeze like he just remembered something important. It then slumps down, still tense but a bit lesser than how it was before.

"Of course." A smile lights up his face, and Odasaku answers it with a small one of his own. "Thank you, Oda-san. "

Without any gestures, he moves in tandem with Atsushi, slipping from shadows to shadows to get closer to the warehouse.

When they are only a few dozen meters from the warehouse, Atsushi stops behind a crate to pull out his pinging phone.

"That's Kunikida-san." He answers the question in Odasaku's eyes. "He found Dazai-san's phone. It was stolen from him by a pickpocket. They've caught the criminal and she said Dazai-san is heading toward the pier when she stole it."

Odasaku breathes deeply so he can keep himself from cursing out loud in front of this boy. There is no way a pickpocket can steal from Dazai without him noticing, which left only one conclusion; he intentionally let his phone get stolen to confuse the Agency.

The deceptive tranquillity of the night is broken when the shattering of glass echoes in the silence. Atsushi gasps and eyed the building, tenseness coiling on his shoulders and back.

"That came from the warehouse."

The two of them abandoned the sneaking around to fully sprint toward their destination. Odasaku couldn't force back his anxiety as the noises become louder, banging, clanking, the creak of some metal bending and breaking.

And then, Odasaku was flying back.

His eyes widen when the weightlessness takes away his orientation of the world. The only thing calling him back to reality is the slam of concrete against his shoulder. The man grunts as he forces his body to fold into a roll, stopping the motion on his knees.

When he gasps to regain his breath, he tastes smoke in the air.

Head snapping up in a dizzying speed, a flurry of blizzard froze everything that he is as he witnesses the warehouse going up in flames.

For a moment, he feels his whole world spins to a stop.

The blast of heat and force that rips away his most precious treasures.

The apocalyptic fire that consumes everything he is, everything he has.

It's this hell all over again.

The familiar trembling is beginning on the tips of his fingers as it unconsciously inched toward his remaining gun. Behind his eyelids, there is Gide's smile.

"Dazai-san!"

Atsushi's shout snaps him from the trance. The finds the boy staring transfixed to the burning warehouse, following the direction of his eyes, the red-haired man numbly searches for what those heterochromatic eyes are seeing.

All breath was taken from Odasaku's lungs when he gazes back into that grinning mouth of hell.

A figure steps off of the looming inferno, a single silhouette against the backdrop of raging blaze. Odasaku faintly heard Atsushi's gasp of his name, but he's already gone, running toward that figure. He abandoned his belief in anything watching over him years ago when he stood silent in a sea of blood of his own making for the first time. But in that moment, rushing him by, he found himself praying to any deity that might hear be able to hear him.

 _Please let that be Dazai. I can't lose him too._

As he drew closer, he can see that figure better. His stomach drops when he realizes that whoever that is, they're too short to be Dazai. But what seems like a misshapen lump of their shoulder become clearer when the light flicker. It'sa familiar visage, slumping lifelessly as it's dragged out from the seas of fire.

Leg muscles moving on nothing but battery acid, Odasaku forces himself to run faster. He hears someone yelling Dazai's name, catching the attention of the smaller figure that drew ever closer. The pain in his throat told him that it's him who's screaming.

Odasaku barely notice the other man who dragged Dazai out of a certain death in favour of frantically searching for Dazai's pulse with a hand as soon as he skidded to a stop in front of them. His heart beating out of his chest, hands trembling, he pressed fingertips into the other's neck.

An enormous weight seems to lift off of him when a flutter of heartbeat struck back against his touch. He exhaled something choked and trembling, the shaking of his shoulder decreasing.

Unconsciously, his hands went up to clutch Dazai's singed clothes and cradle his soot-stained cheek, pressing his face into brown hair smelling of smoke. He fought to keep himself from weeping by taking in deep breaths and drawing the lithe body closer to him.

Wounded, unconscious, but fine. He's alive.

He's alive. This inferno, this apocalyptic smouldering of matter, the ashes that rains and chokes the air, is not one that will rip his world apart like it did four years ago. Because Dazai's alive and breathing in his arms, not trapped in a small place with a bomb right beside him, hands of dead men walking holding him back as the countdown begins and Odasaku's not fast enough, not strong enough to run after him, to save him from the blast.

"Took you long enough, Armed Detective Agency."

The snarky voice reminds him that they're not alone. Whoever this person is, he owes it to him for saving Dazai.

Odasaku lifts his face to look into the face of his best friend's saviour and has to blink once, then twice, then three times before his brain can compute the face before him and link it back to the pre-existing bank of data.

"You're Port Mafia's Nakahara Chuuya." He Odasaku breathes in near disbelief as he takes in the blazing firelight of hair and the dark flutter of jacket worn by Dazai's ex-partner. An impressive scowl is etched on his face while blue eyes burns with anger not unlike the fire he just walked out of.

"Damn straight I am." The smaller man growls, sounding somehow louder than the crackling of fire behind them. "You're one of the Agency, right? Where were you when this stupid bastard stormed this place on his own?"

Odasaku's head runs in circles. Without his permission, his numb lips open to say,

"Thank you."

"Huh?!" Chuuya glared daggers at him, voice sounding even angrier than he had been when he's complaining about his ex-partner.

"For saving him." Odasaku clutches Dazai closer to himself. "I don't want to imagine what would have happened if you weren't there."

"Knowing that idiot, he probably already knew I'm spying on the place before he even came here." Chuuya groaned loudly. "He must have counted on me appearing to drag his ass out. Goddamn manipulative asshole."

"If you hate him so much, why did you save him?"

"Because," He scowls even deeper "I know him and this bastard definitely have prepared something to make me suffer with if I let him die." Chuuya sigh and takes off his hat to rub his own hair furiously. "God, I hate him so much."

As Chuuya replaces the hat back on his head, Odasaku abruptly remembers a three gigabytes folder on Dazai's laptop titled " _A Hatrack's Shame_ _33"_ and, despite being best friends with the man, silently agrees that he _is_ a manipulative bastard.

"Hey wait a minutes." Chuuya squinted at him, turning his cerulean eyes into a pair of dangerous slits. "I know you."

Odasaku waits with his heart on his throat as those eyes widen in shock and recognition before falling back to an irritated but nonetheless neutral expression.

"Huh." He said noncommittally. "Seems like there's no way the bastard ever going to re-join the Mafia now. The boss is going to flip when he hear this, but whatever; it's a good thing to know I won't have to deal with him in the near future."

"Oda-san!" Atsushi's voice shouts from beyond a wall of fire. Odasaku turns his heads toward the sound, and when he looks back to where the member of Port Mafia was standing just a second ago, the smaller man is gone.

He tilts his head to the sky to catch the last sliver of a fluttering coat reflecting the raging firelight as it flies away.

"Oda-san!" the boy finally found him, standing in the middle of the fire with Dazai is his arms. Atsushi's eyes widen when he saw his mentor unconscious in Odasaku's hold. "Dazai-san! Is he alright?"

Odasaku nods "Yes, he's just unconscious."

"That's good." The boy heaved in relief. "Kunikida-san is waiting for us with a car outside, let's go."

He nods and followed Atsushi, both of them running away from the blaze. A honking car disturbed the night air when they're out of the heat's clutches. On the distance, a black car is starting and moving toward them as Atsushi and Odasaku slows to a stop.

When the car stopped in front of them, the two jumps into the backseat of the vehicle.

"Is he alright?" Kunikida's eyes flicker to their reflection on the front rear-view mirror.

Atsushi nods. "Yes, Oda-san said he's just unconscious."

Everyone in the car breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Odasaku finally realized that they're not alone in the car. In the navigator seat, Kenji is sitting with his usual unperturbed smile and pressed against the window on Atshusi's other side is Kyouka who is clutching the boy's sleeve.

"Are we going back to the Agency now?" Atsushi ask in a tired voice. Kunikida sighed and shook his head in answer.

"You did enough for tonight. I'll drop all of you on the apartment"

"But what about you, Kunikida-san?" Kenji asks in a concerned voice.

"I'll ask to the police to scour the building, well," he eyed said building from the side mirror "what's left of the building anyway. It'll be a bad news if one of the Black Hound survive the attack and escaped."

"Shouldn't you rest as well? You also worked hard today." Atsushi voiced his worry to the older man who dismissed it with huff.

"Not hard enough, apparently. As loathe as I am to admit it, that sleeping beauty over there is my partner. I have to pick up his slack if he can't do it himself." After the cool proclamation, however, the image of a responsible, calm headed young adult is broken by a string of curses and general bitching about said partner.

The rambling was cut short by a soft groan from the young man in Odasaku's laps. Even Kyouka is staring at him like he is the hearalder of something terrible.

Every sound is muted when a pair of brown eyes blinks open and consciousness returns to them. They flicker to Odasaku's face and lighten in recognition.

"Oda…saku?"

Said man's tenseness suddenly melted like a snowflake in a stranger's palm. He knew that Nakahara Chuuya wouldn't lie about Dazai's wellbeing, but seeing that eyes open and cognizant is enough to put away all his remaining fears about the situation into a box and stuff them to where he wouldn't notice.

"Idiot Dazai, you're finally awake!" Kunikida barked, voice hot with fury.

"Huh… Is that Kunikida-kun?"

"Who else can I be?!" Kunikida growls "What the hell were you thinking, going against the Black Hounds on your own like that?! Is this one of your suicide plots?"

"No, no." Dazai chuckles weakly, which made Kunikida's hand clutch at the steering wheel even stronger. "I wouldn't dream of making you write a report about my death on top of the Black Hound's demolition, partner. I told you, I want a clean suicide that won't burden anyone."

"Then maybe you should've thought about that when you decide to go after them, _without backup_. What are you, an idiot?! _Hah_?!" Kunikida punctuates the outburst with a slam of fist against the steering wheel. The whole car rocks with the impact.

Kunikida's shoulders slumps defeated "What the hell were you thinking." He hisses in a softer voice. It's one Odasaku recognized as him trying to mask his hurt that is too enormous to be completely covered up.

"I'm sorry." Dazai said.

" _Hah_?!"

"For worrying you."

Kunikida's eyes flicker to the rearview mirror in shock. So much that his retort came a beat too late and without enough heat "Not for going out on your own?"

"No, not that."

The blonde-haired man hisses in displeasure but falls silent, the apology enough to appease the raw edges of his fury and hurt.

As the whole car falls into an uncomfortable atmosphere of tense silene, Odasaku takes the chance to examine the condition of his best friend. Scraps and cuts covered his whole body, a particularly nasty-looking burn wound visible on his calf. His face is streaked with blood, possibly a head injury but since he's cognizant and no fresh blood is trailing down his face horror movie-style, then the head injury might be nothing major.

Dazai caught his eyes, noticing what he's doing. Driven by his own hurt and anger, Odasaku broke the eye contact and gazes outside the dark window, resolutely staring into the lights of the city.

Soon enough, the car drew to a stop in front of the Agency-issued apartment. Unable to properly walk with his numerous injuries, Kunikida helps him support Dazai upstairs into their apartment.

In front of their doorway after Odasaku has fished his keys and opened the door, Kunikida grabs one of Dazai's shoulder uncharacteristically gently.

"I expect you to write a report about this incident tomorrow in the office, Dazai."

"Alright." The brown-haired man grins up to him "I'll do that."

Kunikida nods and takes his leave, phone out before he even come anywhere close to the stairway. As Odasaku closes the door, he catches the beginning of the younger man's voice speaking to the police.

The taller man helps his companion to the couch and left him there as he goes into the kitchen to grab a bowl and fills it to the brim along with a basket of breads he bought earlier today. He returns to the living room to see Dazai poking at his wound and grimacing.

"Can you eat this?" Odasaku hands him a spoon and the steaming bowl of mushroom and crabmeat cream soup that he had been cooking before he was dragged into the craziness this night was by none other than this man in front of him.

Dazai takes a small whiff of the fragrant steam and his stomach growls loudly as if reminding him that he's ravenous. With an embarrassed glance to his companion, who faced the sound with nothing but a blank expression, he takes lifts the spoon filled with soup and blows on it. When the food hits his taste buds, his eyes widen in pleasant surprise.

"This is delicious! Did you made this yourself?"

"Yeah," Odasaku offers him the basket of bread that the other man snatched off of his hand. "I thought it would be a good way to cheer you up since you seemed so busy these days."

Dazai stops his motion of eating when he heard the confession. Lowering the bread and the bowl to the coffee table, he lets his guard down enough that Odasaku can see the guilt etched into his expression.

"Eat, Dazai." He says with a tired voice. "We'll talk about this later."

With that, Odasaku stands up from the couch and walks toward the bathroom. A few moments later, he returns with the first aid box and a small bucket of warm water. He sat down in front of Dazai on the floor and places the two items down near his knees. Gently, he grabs one of Dazai's feet. The bandage on his calf is fraying and a portion has been singed off to show the burnt skin beneath. Odasaku frowns at the visibly painful wound.

"May I?"

Dazai bites a portion of bread that has been dunked into the soup and swallows. "Go ahead."

Accepting the permission, Odasaku cuts away the ragged trouser on the knee and unwound the bandages covering his calf. Dazai wince when the bandages around the wound are taken away, but he grounds himself on the warm liquid going down his throat and the press of Odasaku's fingers into his ankle.

The older man cleaned his wound with the warm water before applying the appropriate medication and creams to the afflicted areas. After he's done with the burn injury, Odasaku treats the other wounds, minor scrapes, cuts and bruises that he tended to with a gentleness Dazai always links back to him.

He works in silence listening to the younger man biting off breads and slurping spoonful of liquid, the tranquillity broken twice by Dazai asking for more of the soup.

When both his legs are covered in fresh bandages and Dazai is done eating, Odasaku takes the chance to wipe his face with wet towel, cleaning away the soot and blood stain on his cheeks and forehead, before he begin to treat the small wound near his hairline.

After doing so, he helps the younger man out of his mutilated trousers and singed off shirt and vest. His trench coat and tie is nowhere to be seen. Fetching his usual sleep shirt from his room, he also assists him into it once the minor wounds on his chest and back are properly treated.

When it was done and Dazai is comfortably bandaged, clothed and clean, a stifling silence falls over the two.

"Why did you do that, Dazai?" Odasaku finally ask in a soft voice. The hurt in his voice makes Dazai drops his eyes in a gesture Odasaku recognize as him trying to hide his guilt.

"Because I have to." Was the answer that answered nothing.

Odasaku sighs and lift his face fingers beneath his chin, catching brown eyes with his own steel grey ones. "Please, tell me the reason."

"The president." Dazai answered after a moment of silence. "He offered you a place in the Agency, didn't he?"

"He did." Odasaku recalls the moment he met the president in front of the Agency this evening and the discussion about Odasaku's will to join the Agency that came afterward as they walk together toward the Agency's office. "But what does that have anything to do with this?"

"I knew it was coming." Dazai's lips tugs into a rueful smile. "That was the agreement we came to when I bargained for the Agency to cover-up your hospital bills and existence from the Posrt Mafia and to let you live with me here."

Odasaku tensed for a second before shaking his head "Of course. So for the last two months, the Agency was keeping an eye on me to attest my aptitude for the work by making me help out with small cases and cleaning up after your mess."

"You're a good person, Odasaku. On top of that, you're also talented with combat and possessed a powerful Ability. I knew it was a matter of time before the Agency agrees to take you in."

"I still don't understand what that has to do with what you did." Odasaku said with a frown marring his feature.

"If you were to be accepted into the Agency, you would have to face them." Dazai confessed with a grim smile.

"…Are you trying to tell me that you faced them so I don't have to?" Odasaku's voice dropped into an icy tone Dazai hasn't heard in a very long time. It was the one he used when he's angry, from the bottom of his heart.

"Kunikida-kun explained to you what Black Hounds are, didn't he?"

"He did." The grey eyes froze even further, "And?"

"They're an international mercenary, a highly dangerous one, which slips into Japan with an unknown motivation and is rumoured to have a powerful Ability User as their leader." He lifts his eyes to challenge the cold in Odasaku's eyes with his own. "Tell me, Odasaku, what happened the last time you faced that sort of opponent?"

"What happened when—" Odasaku's eyes widen in when realization come crashing down on him like an avalanche from the tops of a mountain. The answer is so clear, so painful that he stops breathing for a moment.

 _Mimic._

The unsaid name of the Grey Ghosts' name hangs in the air between them.

Behind his eyelids every time he blinks, Odasaku saw with clarity the glimmer of sunset as they caught the flyaway strands of Gide's silver hair as the man fell to the floor, blood spurting out of his chest. A lethal wound that would guarantee the death he has been longing for.

And then there's Dazai, running toward him with panic in his eyes. Holding him up, denying the possibility that he's dying in his arms. The fear, the looming loneliness that readied its claws to sink into Dazai's flesh, the unshed tears in his eyes, the tremble of his voice as he shouted his denial.

The calm acceptance of that loneliness that he saw back then, the image that he thought would be the last thing he sees in his life.

"Dazai…" Odasaku croaked, finding his voice suddenly useless against the pain pressing against his lungs.

"I know that you're strong, Odasaku. I know that you wouldn't let yourself die like back then." Dazai softly murmured as he presses his forehead to Odasaku's "But still I—"

"I get it." Odasaku lifts a hand to tangle it into brown locks. "I get it, Dazai."

Because, placed in Dazai's situation, he would have done the same thing. Faced with the possibility of losing him the second time, the fear would have consumed him. He would have run out, not a thought spared to his own well-being, to make sure the same thing won't repeat as long as it's still within his power to ensure.

When he lets go, it's with one last stroke against porcelain cheek. Dazai's eyelashes flutter.

"Thank you, Odasaku." Dazai murmurs as he sinks into the couch. Odasaku, who was grabbing the now murky bucket of water and first aid box, intending to return them to the bathroom, stops in his track. He eyed Dazai who is sprawled on the couch, body language open and his face showing a naked gratitude. He lost the fight with his own expression as it warms and his mouth twitch into a smile.

"You're welcome."

After pouring the dirty water down the sink and replacing the first-aid box, Odasaku stand in front of the mirror and stares at his own reflection. For the very first weeks after he woke up from his coma, he never really saw his own reflection. Every time he glanced into a mirror, he always saw Gide's wry smiles and then he'd hear his voice.

 _You're perfect, Sakunosuke._

And before he realized it, he'd always have his guns in his hands, pointing it to an enemy no longer anywhere in this world. Sometimes, to his horror, he'd find them pointed at himself. It was always Dazai who snapped him out of him, coaxing the gun from his trembling fingers and holding his hands until he calmed down, until Gide's silk of a voice no longer brush down his spine in a maddening chant.

 _Kill me, kill me, kill me,kill me,killmekillmekilme-_

He never let himself look into a mirror after that, too scared to lose his reason to live again. But at this moment, all he saw is a man worn down by his own demons, with red hair that has been growing too long framing a tired face with stubbles that went uncared for.

He smiles wryly at his own reflection and left the bathroom.

On the couch, Dazai is still sprawling with eyes open. The utensils and basket, however, is gone from the coffee table. Odasaku leaves him to fetch a blanket and a book from his room. When he returns, Dazai is sitting up and is busy fluffing out his hair.

He blinks at the item Odasaku is carrying and outstretched one hand, to which Odasaku hands him the book. He let Dazai examine it as he sits down and sets down the blanket on the edge of the couch.

"The Book of Fairytale?" Dazai stroked the cover with careful fingers. He opens the cover to see the back of it filled with scribbles of birthday congratulatory and smiling cat faces "You still keep this copy."

"Of course I do." He takes the book back and leafed through it, stopping on a well-read chapter. "How can I lose a birthday gift from a friend?"

Hearing that, Dazai smiles. When Odasaku reaches out one hand to him, he takes it and lays his head on the taller man's chest with a sigh.

Odasaku unfolded the blanket that sat on the edge of the sofa and covered the smaller man with it, letting him snuggle deeper into the soft warmness it offers and draws him closer in with one arm encircling a lithe shoulder.

The two of them need this, the closeness that spoke volumes of forgiveness and a sure proof of living.

Every gentle outward push of Dazai's chest against his own, the warm breath against the exposed skin of his neck, the minute shuffling of the man nuzzling deeper into his embrace.

The encircling arm that is so warm and touches so loving, the single kiss dropped on top of brown hair, a stubbled cheek rubbing into his hair.

Them, just existing together.

The first movement after an eternity of gentle nothingness was of Odasaku pulling the book closer to him and opening it to the page marked open by his own thumb. Dazai drags his head upward to let his eyes flicker over the page before deciding it's not worth it and let it thump back to strong chest.

The older man huffed out a laugh and stroked his hair with the same hand that is holding him, drawing out pleased cat sounds from the younger.

Odasaku begin to read the story out loud, the vibration of his voice a comforting rumble beneath Dazai's cheek. The brown-haired man sighs and became boneless against the strong body holding him together.

Dazai muster the remains of concentration he can dredge together to listen Odasaku's voice giving life to the story of the Beauty and the Beast. But far too soon, he dozes off on the mixture warmth and comforting rumble of Odasaku's chest, the hand rubbing his head, the gentle mouthing of vowels to tell a familiar story.

When his breath evens out and his clutching hands falls, Odasaku's voice tapers off into silence. He gazes down to the young man to realize that he had fallen asleep.

Chuckling silently as to not disturb the sleeping man, he places the book he had been reading on the couch and heaved him up, carrying him to his room.

Without even bothering to put on the light, Odasaku moved to the bed with the sparse streetlight streaming in from the blinded window and his memory as guide. He places bundle in his arms on the bed and tucked him in, covering the smaller form with blanket, watching him curl and murmur something that sounds like his name in his sleep.

In the darkness of the night, Odasaku lets himself smile. His eyes are heavy from the emotional drain and flashback of trauma he had experienced earlier this night and his weariness beckons sleep toward him. But he forces himself to stay awake for this moment, as he places his palms on the bed gently as to not wake the inhabitant and press his lips on a warm forehead.

He relishes the warmth beneath his lips, the unmistakeable breath brushing his neck, before pulling away and presses his forehead against the other man's, tips of noses nearly touching. Whispering _Goodnight_ with his lips nearly brushing Dazai's.

When Odasaku left the room with one last backward glance to the still form on the bed, he closes the door without realizing a smile has painted itself over Dazai's silent lips.

.

.

 _Even this scenery, so full of sorrow_

 _Has been turned into light by your hands_

 _So much that these small droplets of tears_

 _Falls with glitters not unlike a precious jewel_

 _Fall they will, toward the future_

 _You took my hand and brought me to behold_

 _A future so brightly beautiful_

 _I stood still, dazzled by the vivid brightness_

 _But your arms wrapped around back_

 _And I'm no longer afraid_

.

.

Interlude III

.

The early mornings are Odasaku's favourite part of the day. He loves watching the first rays of sun gracing the city skyline, the way that the sun is a ball of light that creeps slowly to return colour to the world.

Today is no different. Greying dawn find him standing in front of the coffee maker with two cups of coffee in front of him. One is full while the other one is only three quarter.

He added one spoon of sugar to the full cup. For the other one, he filled it with milk and cream to the brim and added four spoons of sugar. Grabbing the first cup, he walks to the kitchen window that shows the eastern sky and stands still.

Sunlight crept into the room slowly, shining on the motes of dust dancing in the air. It bathes the room in a warm glow of golden and orange, rendering the city skyline into nothing but a black silhouette.

When the sun is fully out and his empty cup is lying in the sink, Odasaku hears the patter of unsteady feet on the tatami floor.

It's hard to supress his smile when Dazai stumble into the kitchen with his eyes practically still closed, the usually graceful young man bumping into objects and walls. Dazai in the morning is the complete reversal of his usual demeanour. His shoulders are slumped, clothes ruffled and wrinkled, bed hair so messy you'd think you can find some secret treasure in their midst.

But it's the expression that without fail always captures Odasaku. It's open, soft and honest. Every flicker of emotion Dazai feels goes past them unlike how the mask he perfected over the year covers his emotion when he's fully awake.

Odasaku might adore the sunlight and its awakening from slumber, but most of all he adores the vulnerable Dazai who couldn't even stand up straight when he tries to be awake enough to function but is too dazed by sleep.

A pair of brown eyes slit open, blinks a few time and close again as if losing the energy to do so. The owner staggers until he hits Odasaku's chest and yawns against his neck.

"O'uffe?"

"Here you go."

He handed his companion the warm cup of coffee because he knows Dazai's distaste of a hot one. Said man accepted the cup with both hands and blearily blinked his eyes open a few time. In the end, he closes them again, tilts his head down to sip the liquid with his forehead still pressed against the taller man's collarbone.

A sigh escaped his lips when the drink finally hits his tongue. It's as sweet as he likes them to be, not cool enough to be utterly undrinkable but not hot enough to burn. It's perfect.

He nuzzled into the taller man's chest in gratitude and was answered with a hand carding through his messy bed hair, disentangling brown locks in gentle cards.

Odasaku understands; he knows that Dazai wouldn't show this side of him to just about anyone. He heard from his subordinates back in Port Mafia that he'd lock himself in his room until he's fully awake, not letting anyone see him before he groomed himself to live up to the title of Demon Prodigy.

But this Dazai intentionally lets him in when he's the most vulnerable, when he couldn't even stand straight and had to squint at everything before he knows that they're reality and not dream.

Odasaku never felt as loved as he does in this moment, standing in this kitchen with a few centimetres separating them, watching motes of dust dance in the sunlight.

.

Later that morning when Dazai came into the office all smiles and sunshine, the whole agency thanked whatever deity is watching over them that Odasaku existed. After all, a less cranky Dazai Osamu is a blessing to any person that came in contact with him.

Kunikida swore to himself that one of these days, he'll get some sort of mandate that Odasaku must always be allowed 24/7 with Dazai and put it up as a rule as important as emergency method of dealing with natural disaster.

.

.

 _Final Part:_

 _Eyes on Me_

 _-Superfly_

 _._

 _._

Odasaku breathes in the salty smell of the seas, carried by a strong gust of wind in this particularly windy autumn day. It was something he'd taken for granted when he was still a member of the mafia; the cries of seagulls, the arrhythmic crashing of waves, the crowd's chatter that washes over him in a nameless comfort. After that lost all of them; strapped to a bed where he's both conscious and unconscious.

Afterward, when he finally woke up to Dazai's face that was so familiar yet so different by age, smiling with unshed tears _for him,_ Odasaku swore to never lose sight of these tiny precious things ever again:

-The sunlight that filters through leaves and illuminates the smiles he wish to protect, the song of wind soaring across the concrete instrument of the city where they lives in, tiny droplets of Dazai's tears that fell atop his skin when the world returned to him. All of them are so precious they filled the gaping cracks in his heart with liquid warmth.

He sometimes wonders if the children are angry because he gets to live this happily while they're dead and gone. But tiptoeing footsteps in his room at night and warm tea waiting on table top chased those shadows from his mind.

The pain will never disappear. He was utterly broken, once, and despite Dazai's and the Agency's best effort to collect the pieces that remains and glue them together with offer of companionship and camaraderie, there will always be unmendable cracks and gaping holes where the pieces followed his children to the ends of the world.

But Dazai understands this.

Maybe it's because they simply knows each other so well, maybe because he, too, bears the same cracks and holes in his heart. It might be neither, it might be both. But Dazai held him silently through the night of his children's birthdays, took him out to the dark seas to share stories under the march of Milky Way on the night of their death.

That understanding and affection is something Odasaku holds precious in his heart. It was there, with the twinkle of light in his eyes whenever Odasaku did something that made him happy.

Odasaku flicked his cigarette and threw the stub to a nearby overflowing trashcan. He's still trying to re-break his habit of smoking. But it's hard to do so when nicotine is the only thing capable to wiping his mind blank when he's all alone.

Currently, he's at the more abandoned part of the city where no windows are unbroken and no metal unrusted. His footsteps the only thing audible over the whistling of winds.

Sunset is giving a glow of red and orange to the world, a parting gift before it disappear into the horizon. Odasaku walks and walks until the building thins out and he stood on an old concrete bridge. It was an old thing, broken down the middle with the debris cleared away long ago. What's left now is just a jut of road that ends on a long fall to a deep river.

He came here often back then. It was the second place he checks whenever a subordinate of Dazai's is calling him about his disappearance right after Bar Lupin.

And just as he thought, Dazai is sitting on the end of the bridge, overlooking the rushing water. His legs dangle on the open air, subtly shifting every so often to feel the rush of cold wind.

The young man in front of him is beautiful. He'd always known that ever since he first lays eyes on him seven and half a year ago. But now, haloed by colours of twilight, there was nothing more resplendent Odasaku ever saw.

He sat down beside him, deliberately choosing the left side so that he can still admire this graceful, beautiful being with sunset as background. The rational part of his brain is telling him how silly that thought is, but as with everything concerning Dazai that part went soundly ignored.

Both of them sat there for a long moment, no parts of their bodies even brushing each other's. But they were close enough for the body heat between them to be comforting in the late autumn air.

"Did Kunikida finally gave up and asked you to look for me?" Is what Dazai said to dispel the quiet haze between them.

"Yeah." Odasaku answered "He seemed worried."

Dazai hums "He's a worrywart despite trying to act like he isn't one."

"That's true." Odasaku huffed out a laugh "Though, with what happened the last time you disappeared without warning, I couldn't blame him for worrying."

Dazai expression twists "…he hasn't let that one go, has he?"

"Nope."

The two of them falls silent after that, enjoying the companionship while watching the rushing river. Odasaku was lulled into a state of tranquillity, comfortable and content with his place in the world, when a hand finds his.

He glances to the side, finding Dazai's smile as the younger man squeeze his hand.

"The river's beautiful, isn't it?" Dazai laughs softly "If you drown in one at this time of day, it'll seem like you're floating in an ocean of shining jewels."

"You say that like you've tried it before."

"Who do you think I am?" Dazai shoots him a mock offended expression "how can I call myself a suicide expert if I haven't tried such a basic suicide method?"

"Huh, I guess you're right." Odasaku tilts his head to the side "Are you going to jump in?"

"Are you going to save me?" Dazai asks back.

"Probably."

"Then I won't. What's a suicide done with a watchful eye?" He lifts his shoulders and let the drop. "Especially in front of one's own best friend. How inelegant."

"So you don't want to commit suicide in front of me?"

"Nu-uh."

"Huh." He squints to the water. "How would you like your last suicide to be, then?"

"'Last suicide'" Dazai chuckles "You're born to be a writer, Odasaku."

He playfully nudges Dazai's side in retaliation. "Answer my question, or is your infamous no-deceit transaction policy utter bogus?"

Dazai stuck out his tongue "What part of this is a transaction anyway."

"I don't know. This?" Odasaku launches an attack on Dazai's sides with his fingers. The younger man yelps and jumped a few centimetres from his perch.

"Odasaku! That's cheating!"

"No, it's not. Isn't the saying 'All's Fair in Love and War'?"

"Is this Love or War?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Dazai scowls at him and in retaliation Odasaku lifts his hands and wriggles his fingers in a very unsubtle threat of tickling while carefully keeping his face blank.

"Alright, alright! I'll speak!" Dazai lifts both hands in surrender as Odasaku looms closer to him. "Whew, mister. You play such dangerous cards."

"It's what I'm good at." He replies without missing a beat. "So, ideal suicide."

When Dazai sniggers a ' _you sounds like Kunikida-kun_ ', a poke on his exposed neck is enough to remind him of the threat Odasaku's deft fingers serve.

"I'd like to die with a beautiful woman," The detective hums, but then he beamed brightly to Odasaku "But I now that I think about it, I won't mind dying with a handsome man either."

Odasaku blinks and glanced at him, who smiles so beautifully before the sunset.

"…I'll tell that to Chuuya."

A foot shoots out and hit his shin, making Odasaku fight to keep his neutral expression. A pout is sent his way, an endearingly petulant expression that should be off-putting on the face of a twenty-two years old man, but is somehow very fitting on Dazai's.

"I don't mean him. And did you just imply that you find him handsome?"

Odasaku nods "I did."

Dazai gasps theatrically "Odasaku is abandoning me for that dwarf of a hatrack?"

"What can I say; he's man on the attractive side of the spectrum."

"His attractiveness is tragically cut short by his height and that godawful hat."

"You really don't like small men?"

"Uh-huh. I prefer taller ones."

"Oh." Odasaku cast his eyes to the skies "I'm sorry but I'm not sure how to get the president to commit suicide with you."

Dazai burst out into a shocked laughter "Wait whaaaaat?! How did you get to _that_ conclusion?"

"Maybe I can do something about convincing Kunikida-kun, but he's not that much taller than you."

"Now you're just baiting me." Dazai presses his palm to Odasaku's cheeks and pushes him away playfully "Stop, just stooop."

"If you don't mean them, then who do you have in mind?"

"Hm… well, I have in mind this handsome man with slightly long hair, taller than me of course, who bears a great dedication to his cause, is responsible, and clever."

Odasaku's brows crease "Wait, Mori Ougai?"

"No! No way in any afterlife, universe or alternate timeline!" Dazai wrings his hands, expression twisting to disgust. "I'd be rolling in my grave if I have to commit suicide with him."

Odasaku's poker face finally cracks, letting out a twitch on the corner of his lips that didn't go unnoticed by the man beside him.

"Ah-hah! I knew it, you're just playing with me." Dazai pouts and kicks his feet on the open air. "Humph, I'm never telling you who this mystery man is."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Okay."

Odasaku grabs the smaller man and drags him to his laps, while Dazai squeals in laughter and mock-fear.

"Wait, wait what are you—Odasaku, oh god—no stohohohoopp" he kicks and tries to break free as hands attacks his sides and neck. "Ahhahaaanoooooo"

"I can't help it, you break the transaction."

"I'll tell you! I'll tell!"

"Good."

He puts Dazai down after the agreement, the younger man scowling at him. But the smile on his lips betrays his true feelings.

"Well, Mr. Blackmailer." He glares at Odasaku's hands "Here is the moment of truth, are you ready?"

"I am." He answers gravely. Dazai's playful smile softens into something fonder when he hears the unmistakeable serious tone he's using.

"I'd like to commit a double suicide with you."

Odasaku stares at the man beside him. The hand is back on his, squeezing gently.

"Me?"

"Yes." Dazai laughs softly "I'm sure that would be a satisfying end to my life."

Dazai turns his brown gaze to him and Odasaku saw in their depth something warm. It makes him slumber in them, surrounded by that gentleness.

"No… It would be more than satisfying. Wouldn't it, Odasaku?"

"How do you know?"

"Because," he leans in to press their foreheads together, eyes unmasked as it twinkle in starlight "you're you."

The beautiful man took one of Odasaku's hands and cradles it between his with gentleness not of lover, but of something else. Something deeper, more intimate, like a thousand words of love whispered upon his skin by nothing but a single touch.

Dazai's face is the softest Odasaku ever seen them being outside of their shared apartment. It's the face he'd make whenever he walks into the kitchen in the evening to see Odasaku preparing a warm meal for him, the one he'd wear whenever Odasaku agrees to cuddle with him underneath a blanket in the winter to ward away the cold and nightmare.

Because of that smile, so gentle and fragile alike to that of the fall of the single first snow, Odasaku squeeze back the hands that caresses his.

"Odasaku," Dazai said so softly it would have been lost to the wind if their surrounding was not so silent, as if holding its breath. "Will you commit a double suicide with me?"

Odasaku gazes at the hands that caged his. The slender fingers and delicate wrists wrapped in bandage. It's a hand he'd like to hold until he couldn't do so anymore.

So he answers-

"I will."

There was silence at his answer. Dazai stared at him as if he couldn't believe what is coming out of his mouth. The butterfly wings of his lashes flutter as he tries to process the answer "You… will?"

"Yeah."

Odasaku stood up, the tips of his shoes right on the edge. Dazai is still staring at him, shocked into silence.

"I'm not beautiful, much less a woman. But if you'd take me, then," he offered one hand to the man beside him "I'll come with you, wherever you want to go."

"That's okay. That's more than okay." A grin broke out on Dazai's face as he, too, stands up by his shoulder. His palm is warm against Odasaku's as their hands slid together. Locking them to each other. "I'd take Odasaku over a woman any day."

"I'm flattered." He answered with an honest sincerity that never failed in making the smile on Dazai's face wider.

"You're wrong, you know."

"About what?"

"You being not beautiful." Dazai's grin was so happy, so content that it stole all breath from Odasaku's lungs "You're the most beautiful person I've ever have the privilege to meet."

"My opinion's the same." Odasaku answered after a beat of silence. He gently squeezed Dazai's hand "You, too, are beautiful."

"Even with all these scars?"

"Yes."

At that answer, so full with conviction, Dazai let himself smile something genuine for the eyes of nobody but the man in front of him.

.

 _Later, they'd trudge back with one arm slung over each other's shoulders. Sharing body heat in the cold autumn air that beat against their chilled skin and froze their soaked clothes._

 _They'd burst out laughing when Odasaku lost his balance because he just survived his first suicide attempt via drowning and tangle their feet together. Dazai would chatter about the types of rope they can use to experiment on hanging. Since Odasaku's much larger and heavier than he is, they would need to find something sturdier than the one he owns right now._

 _Odasaku would smile that wry, exasperated smile. But he'd play along and tell him that he dislike the thought of dying by hanging. So Dazai would suggest the other alternative such as poison, un-accidental traffic accident, Odasaku's very own beautiful guns, another round with the river perhaps?_

 _The older man would suggest the night ocean and he'd make a thoughtful hum. That's so like Odasaku, to wish to die sentimentally. But he'd promise to try that out next week when both of them share a day off._

 _But they would understand silently that no such thing will happen. Neither will the poisons, the accidents, nor the guns. They knew it from the contentment in Dazai's eyes, the lack of darkness that clung to his visage like a second coat. Both of them would know that this is perfect, them together walking down the same road toward the same destination. It would be hard sometimes, hurdles will still come against them. But-_

 _-But they'll be together. And maybe, maybe that's enough._

 _They will look up to greet the stars, shining brighter than Dazai ever remembered them to be. And then they'd come home._

 _Home. Where the darkness no longer oppressing, where he'd find traces of Odasaku on the crumbs staining the floor, the two-sizes too big clothes strewn around, the books of literature that steadily piles, the clean but messy linens and warm meals._

 _Home. Where now he can expect light and love and companionship whenever he goes back from the Agency. Where he can tiptoe into an adjoining room to watch the peaceful face Odasaku make when he sleeps whenever the vice of nightmare strangles him._

 _Home. It's where Odasaku will shower him with affection and give him as many hugs as he wants, and Dazai will let him take care of him the way no one ever cared to ever before in his life._

 _Home is that place of light where Odasaku would read out loud short fairy tales for him as he nods off, snuggled with him on the couch. It's where Odasaku is, smiling at him illuminated by morning light._

 _It will be there and then, one foot inside the apartments so full of warmth, that Dazai will realize that he loves this man in his arms. That he would gladly spend the remains of his life, no matter how short and wretched, with him._

But that's later. It's a story of afterward, of a rebirth. Right now, with the security of Odasaku's hand in his, staring down the rushing river that sparkled in the golden haze of the setting sun, is the first time Dazai steps off the edge full with the intention to survive.

.

.

 _I always want to erase your worries and loneliness,  
Having the bad habit of making sure over and over  
Of the reality that you love me_

 _My destined one, please, fix your eyes on nothing but this self  
A tear stained-face and a blossoming honest smile_

 _I want to entrust all that to you  
With a vow, the bell of blessing rings in the sky  
So we'll never ever stray from each other's side_

 _Lyndon, lyndon  
Ring dong, ring dong_

.

.


End file.
